Why do I race World Cups? I race them to challenge myself and to test myself against quite literally the best in the World. In the moments of extreme difficulty, I remember this “why.” It is the challenge that I’m looking for after all. The level of challenge seems to vary from race to race, but my resiliency and willingness to overcome remains the same. 

When we watch sporting events, we are automatically drawn to the action of the leaders. We see the victory and the celebration of those winning the match or crossing the finish line first, but sometimes the wildest battles and stories are happening for someone other than the winner. It’s the battles from behind that makes the wins so much more remarkable. If there was a way to film each and every rider on course and tell every rider’s story, I think people might see the sport in a new light. This sport is brutal, fickle, and yet beautiful all at the same time. 

I find myself reading the posts and stories of many racers after the competition and see a lot of “if only” then I would have done x, y, or z. To be honest, those statements are 100% true. The level of these races is so high that there is little to no room for error if you wish to come out on top. The thing is, when the level is this high very, very few people make it from start to finish without an issue, and the people who do are usually the people who find themselves on top.  So those “if only” statements are excuses, they are stories. Here is mine:

At the World Cup competitions, you line up according to UCI points ranking. For a variety of reasons, including not completing in every World Cup last year, I have less points than I would like and I am called to the line 54^th. That means in order to make it through everything smoothly on the first lap, I am at the mercy of every person in front of me also making it through smoothly and with each and every rider in front of me the probably of that happening decreases rapidly. In other words, as I start my race I am already anticipating the fact that I will have to overcome some sort of adversity. 

The lights turn green and we sprint down the start straight. Nearly 100 racers putting as much power into their pedals as possible. If you give an inch someone will take it, so we smash up against each other as much as possible, rubbing shoulders, elbows, wheels, and more. About 30 seconds into the race the woman in front of me rubbed wheels a little too much and suddenly was dragging a foot on the ground, with her bike flying sideways. I tried to move left or right, but I was completely blocked in by others also suffering the domino effect of this crash. Meanwhile, off to the side other racers are blasting by and those in front will never even know the crash happened. When I finally got free from my trap, I didn’t dare look behind me. I just charged forward, immediately passing at least 10 girls with an all-out arm numbing effort to the first singletrack. 

Once we all funneled into the singletrack we are forced to filter in line. You can make an aggressive pass here and there, but you have to be smart and calculated as to not waste effort when passing is impossible. About 5 minutes into the race the girl behind me completely body slammed me from behind, hooking my bars, throwing me off-line, but throwing herself on the ground. Just keep overcoming….

As we entered the woods, I could see far ahead that everyone was off of their bike and running so I did a proactive dismount and run up between the trees and around several riders. At this point I’ve passed numerous people just in the start lap after my derailment in the start. My hopes are high as I come to the start/finish line and I see “62” flash on the screen. There is no time for frustration in these races, only action. I didn’t like the place I was in but I loved the course. I focused on riding every obstacle as fast as I could and I focused on passing the next person ahead of me. I picked off people each and every lap and improved my position until there was no more time to do so. I crossed the finish line in 49^th. I’m happy. No, I’m not happy with the place. I do not think that is shows my true ability. I don’t think it’s the highest placement I’m capable of. But I’m happy with myself and I’m happy with the way I continue to overcome and always focus forward. 

So, my “if only” is if only I can have a smooth start, then I think the possibilities would really open up for me. And the good news is, there is another race this weekend for that to happen.